Well this could be a quick one because of how tired I am. I am exhausted from my soccer game tonight. We tied and I scored :) but it still sucks we tied. (its like kissing your sister) and I would not want to do that! But anyways for my thoughts that I said I was going to talk about. They kind of changed tonight. Instead I am going to talk about an instance that happened on the way back from our game...
So we were in the van on our way back to our school just talking about random stuff. Mainly all old stuff like when we were in elementary and middle school. And there was like seven guys in the van I rode in. But we got on the subject of Lance Bass because one my teammates said he met him and some other famous person. And this lead to talking about Lance being gay. My friends were asking questions like how did his band-mates not know he was gay and why is he gay and just random shit. But then MY room mate asked a question that involved me. And he was like "What if you were gay and liked dick then five years down the road you came out." Then he said it would be weird not knowing then finding out and just thinking back that you changed in front of me naked and I would get hard or something... I just laughed to play it off but I felt weird on the inside. I wanted to say something but I couldn't. It wasn't the right time and I'm not ready to say anything. Its just gonna be weird coming out five years down the road and he is gonna have to think those thoughts for real.
But this was just an awkward moment for me. I felt I should of said something, but that could of been a HUGE mess if I did. I did need any problems on top of the stuff I have to deal with already.
Like I said, it would be a quick one cause I'm exhausted but will be back tomorrow.
6 years ago
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Yeah, in a group of male athletes would be a REALLY difficult place to come out to, and as you said you aren't ready. Maybe your roommate though was trying to tell you something. Could he know or suspect that you're gay, or could he be gay? Or maybe he's curious and wants to know more. Based on my experience, you'll know when the time is right to come out, so don't rush it.
ReplyDeleteLol something similar to this actually happened to me today how strange. Oh and btw if your worried about being outed you shouldn't have your real name in your email. Unless you wanted me to know? Anyway take care man and have a good weekend.
ReplyDeleteGreen- Yeah its for sure not the time to come out yet but he isn't gay or I dont he is. He has a girlfriend back home and I dont think he suspects it. Im a very normal teenager and I still "chase" girls to cover it up.
ReplyDeleteFootballer- That is weird. But since I started this blog, it seems that more and more I hear people talking about someone being gay and stuff. I might be paranoid or something but it just seems I hear more about it. And thats my normal email I emailed you from. I figured you were in England so it wouldn't do much if you knew my first name and that's my only email account at the moment.
Hey great blog so far! I so know that situation of sitting with a bunch of guys and that being brought up. I don't think I would ever out myself in a group, cause guys are going to want to seem macho, or not wnt to be called gay if they say it's okay. Maybe a small group, but never a big van. But good luck man, it took me leaving the country and meeting friends there to finally have the courage to come out, and even then I did it on Facebook at first, w.o a conversation!
ReplyDeleteHey m8,
ReplyDeleteNo worries your last surname shows as well and its not hard to find out who you are with a quick google. Not like I'd tell anyone anyway but just be careful if you don't want to be outed. Anyway have a good weekend.
How about saying: "well, if you were gay, and came out five years from now, it wouldn't change the fact that we're best friends and had great times together. I wouldn't think that just caused we lived together that you had sexual thoughts about me."
ReplyDeleteYeah that is very true. It just sucked hearing that :/
ReplyDeleteWow how did you keep from freaking out?
ReplyDeleteI just laughed it off, cant really say anything :/
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting post. It has happened to me a couple times and there so awkward. I wanted to do the same thing and just spill my heart out and tell my friends the truth but I'm not ready. And when you are reeady, I would tell people on one-on-one conversations, definitly not a van packed with guys.
ReplyDeleteNothing to do today so read back to some of these posts which I don't remember and wow - so much has changed eh... especially when I know exactly how that roomie took it when U did tell him! amazing
ReplyDeleteoh for sure! cant believe i used to worry so much lol
ReplyDelete