Sunday, April 18, 2010


Last night was a blast. (I didn't bring the girl back but she was all over me the whole night!) But it was a huge party at a teammates house. People were inside, outside, the driveway, just everywhere. It was a good turnout with a lot of my friends there. I think it would of been better if I was under the influence a little lol but I didn't drink. I wasn't in the mood at the time when I got there and I was already enjoying myself as I was. I ended up playing beer pong with my teammate and didnt lose for the longest. It probably helped since I was sober and we were playing against guys that couldn't stand straight. The bad part was trying to get people home. Since I didn't drink, I had to drive some kids home but I left my car at school. The girl that likes me gave me a ride back to school then I had to drive back to get my friends. Didn't end up going to bed til 4 but I got a good sleep. My roommates alarm went off at 730!! It was on his bed and he couldn't turn it off so I got up to shut it off then I went right back to bed and didn't wake up until 2!! That was the longest I have ever slept but it was well needed.

When I woke up, I saw I got a text from a girl that helps me with my homework :) Its a plus being in the closest because girls will do anything if they like you. This girl has helped me this past semester with my english papers. Like I said I'm not the best writer especially if its for a grade. So I just hang out with her some and in return she helps me with my papers. It might be wrong doing this but who will know lol. So I went to library for 2 hours with her and she basically edited my whole paper that's due Tuesday. I wrote it but my professor wasn't really happy with it so friend offered to help. Its my work just with a little help of editing and organizing :)

Well, I will tell a little about my issue. I haven't talked much about my personal situation other than that I am gay. There really isn't much at all. I am gay and closeted. None of my friends or family knows. I have been trying to find the courage to tell my two best friends but I'm afraid of their reactions. I don't know how I would tell them either. They both go to different schools in completely different states. I was thinking I might hint at it over the summer if the time is right. These are my best friends and have been for a long time. I have known one of them since kindergarten then the other one since 8th grade. When I'm home, I'm always with one or the other. We do everything together really. Play sports, hang out, party, just everything. I really don't know how they will take. I remember one conversation I had with them about a gay thing. It was like "What it be like if your friend came out after knowing them and sleeping over at their houses? Then the other replied "Well you probably don't know your best friend then if you don't know their gay." I guess I just hide it that well that they have no idea. I guess if you knew me, you wouldn't suspect anything either but it sucked hearing that. Its whatever really because I love those guys to death. They are like brothers to me. I think they would be fine with it. Some things might change but not much. Or I hope they don't :/


  1. This might be out of line to ask, but are your family and two friends religious? I ask because you mentioned that you attend a religious school (Baptist?), and I don't know if you go there to play soccer, for religious purposes, or both. Religion can make coming out more complicated, sometimes. I think that compared to other countries such as Canada or many western European countries, the US has more issues with being gay because the US is more religious.

    Also, I'm a little confused about your soccer season. I thought that soccer was a fall sport in college, not a spring sport. Is this your main season now, or are these off-season games?

  2. Mine friends are too religious but more masculine I would say. Keep count of how many women they hook up with. And I came to school just for soccer purposes. Im not to religious myself either.

    And soccer is a fall sport. But we have spring games just in order to keep playing. There are rules on how many games we can play in the spring and we only play 5 games in total. They are just off-season games.

  3. dude I think we have the same brain :)

    I'm pretty much at the same stage in my life, worried about tellin my buds but it will be soon. Been too long like this, I need progress haha

  4. haha, it sucks right man? I hate it. I wish there could be an easier way of dealing with it. And yeah, something needs to happen soon... Great blog btw, liked the post about the hookup lol

  5. The test of true friendship. I had a bi friend in high school didn't bother me one bit because I knew she was happy. After she graduated though (she was a senior I a junior) she kind of drifted from us. Nothing really changed for the good that is but not because she came out to us but because she joined the marines. Haven't seen or heard from her in about a year now. Doesn't bother me though I only wish her well.

  6. Hey Man,
    I have girls all over me every day to but I don't boast about it you big show off. lol. Yeah my friends have no idea I'm gay either its kinda weird because everyone thinks I'm a womaniser even though I never take girls back. How the hell they haven't guessed I'm gay yet is beyond me. I guess straight people are just dumb lol.
    Take it easy

  7. Yeah, I dont think things will change, but I dont want to risk it. Our friendship is really important to me...

    And very funny :) We seem to be similar then because my friends always ask why I dont take them back and I make a different excuse every time. It works but still dont understand why they havent questioned me yet? whatever though lol