Tuesday, March 29, 2011

living with regrets

I know we are supposed to live life to the fullest and without regrets since we only get one life to live but I honestly would love the chance to do mine over. Not like Im upset with how mine has turned/turning out but I would for sure make some changes to decisions that I have made. I realize now that I could of had a shot to play soccer as a career. I know I wrote yesterday about this, but its stuck on my mind and its really gettin to me. Me and my roomy had a pretty long conversation about this tonight. It sucks kind of more for him cause he had the chance last year to stay in Mexico with a team but instead, decided to come back and play. We both decided that we would have chosen different schools to go to instead of where we are. This place just isnt for us. We both agreed that we would want to do redo our lives as well. Just like little things like training more, or doing extra while we were younger. These things could of added up and helped us a lot. I know its my fault to where I am, but it sucks where I am. I want to be more and not sure if that will happen anymore. Watching the kids I played with on TV playing kills me inside. Their success tears me up. I know it sounds fucked up, but Im competitive and I want to be there! I dont want to fuckin watch it when I could be playing. 

I dont know what Im trying to get too. It just what I have been thinking about all night. I stood in the shower for 20 minutes just thinking about this shit. I know their success should motivate me to get to their position, and it does sometimes, but its not enough for me. I just feel like my time is over and I dont have enough youth in me to make it anymore. Only 20 years old and in less than 6 months I will be 21, its old in soccer terms and basically a senior in todays game. If anything happened, it would have to be this summer. Hopefully it does and would be crazy as shit if it does but doubt it. I will just be living with regrets for the rest of my life.

Monday, March 28, 2011

it could be good

Well I made the team in Nashville... now I wont be able to see my friends this summer :( Right from school I will be going there to start training. Im not to sure how long the season goes for but I know its the majority of the summer. Im sure its gonna be practice every day or even twice a day so no way I would be able to visit my homies back in Dallas. Its sucks cause I havent seen them since Christmas break. I was looking forward to goin home and just chillin with them everyday. Not gonna happen anymore. And the England thing never went anywhere either which sucks. I wanted to go there and hopefully get looked at. I just feel like my time is nearing its end. So many kids that I played with are big time now. Not saying Im bad but they just got their break and opportunity. I dont even know how some of them are pro for being how bad they are (well not bad, but just never stood out). I know kids playing and being paid to play in England, Spain, Belgium, Argentina, Vietnam and here in the US. Its crazy to think I played with these kids but it also pisses me off that Im not where they are. It would be sick as fuck to be paid to play soccer for a living. Do the thing I love the most and get paid, what could be better?...I cant think of anything

Thursday, March 24, 2011

some wiz and mac miller

Bought me a ticket to go see Wiz Khalifa and Mac Miller in concert April 1st yesterday! Its gonna be sickkkk. I'm going with some teammates of mine so it should be a good time. It kind of sucks that we have a game the next day so we really cant to crazy but still should be a good ass time. Also just got Wiz Khalifa's new cd, Rolling Papers and its fire. Real nice stuff!

Besides the concert next week, I really am dreading the next month. Im so fucked with school work. Like I cant even believe how much shit I have going on. I have to do 10 page paper with a 10 slide powerpoint for my business computer class, then a 7 page paper for my american lit class comparing two readings that we have done (its gonna be hard for me since I havent read one story yet), then Im doing a 12 minute presentation with a 2 page paper in a group of 3 for my business comm class (but my group members are retards! one kid is on my team and just smokes all the time and is failin all his classes), then for accounting, we are doing a practice set thing which is just a bunch of extra homework on top of our daily homework...so yeah, not gonna be good :/

Nothing really new going on. I cant think of anymore questions to ask lol Like when I had the idea of it, I have so many in my head but when I come to do a post, they vanish haha. I really do appreciate all the feedback I got from the first two. Im sure I will think of something to ask within the week.

PS-Im healthy again and should be playing in our next game coming up. It sucks havin to sit out of practice. I lose my fitness and I have to shag balls the whole time. Its awful!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Question #2

So second question, a lil odd one but just gets me thinking lol When getting head, where are you supposed to bust? 

Is it appropriate to cum in the guys mouth, on the face, where? I basically ask this because when I hear stories of guys on my team, its always a question and typically the guy says she swallowed or on her face. I questioned this once and said you dont normally have a girl swallow first time gettin head but the guy said every girl hes gotten head from, she swallowed. I know I wouldnt be doing that but just wanted to see whats appropriate. 

ps-Added some new music. First song is one I've had on repeat for a while. Its a chill ass song and Wiz is a thugg. Mac Miller is a new artist out of Pittsburgh and only 19. Has some good music out right now. And yall need to compt Lupes new CD Lasers. So hot and every song is a jam! 

pss-Also had first spring game the other day, didnt go so hot. Fuckin got injured real early into the game. Did something to my quad and now out for a couple days, maybe a week :/

pss- And thanks for all the comments on the last question!! Its good to have feedback and hear different options from more experienced guys.

psss-thats it :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Question #1

When meeting a guy at a public place, and you go back to whose ever house to hookup, how do you know who will bottom or top?

Like on sites, it has peoples preferences and not all gay guys like to bottom so how do you know which role will you play. Im not sure what I would do. Never done either so Im not sure what I would do in that situation if I was in it and thats why I would like some feedback from more experienced people.

Monday, March 14, 2011

nothing too new

So obviously there has been a huge lack of posting on my side but honestly, there hasnt been anything big happen. I did have spring break last week and just went home which was awesome but didnt really do much. I reffed some soccer games to make money while I was there and then I went to Nashville for the soccer tryout as well. It was pretty shitty to be honest. The fields were completely fucked cause of rain, the players were awful, and the whole thing was all pretty sketchy. Its a new coach and owner so they are trying to redo the team but the thing wasnt organized at all. I played pretty good for under the conditions and will find out later this week if I made it. If I dont make it, I really wont care too much cause then I will be back in Texas with all my friends for summer :)

Ummmm, Im back at school now for the last 6 weeks of my sophomore year. There is no love in the near future unfortunately, just living the single life. I kind of wish I could find someone though and that would be pretty cool. Its so hard to tell when guys are interested if they aren't noticeably gay. And thats why for the next couple of posts, I am going to be asking questions in order to get help with some gay topics. I hoping I will get some feedback cause it will help me and probs others in the same situation as I am.

Thats about it but I will ask the first question tomorrow. I need to get on some FIFA since I havent played in a week.

ps- There have some more sportsmen that have come out. A cricketer and a SOCCER player!! haha Steven Davies is an England cricketer that came out about a week or so ago and Anton Hysen is a Swedish soccer player that just came out a couple of days ago. Check it out!