Tuesday, May 17, 2011

new dope song

"Say what's on your heart if you're real cause the scars you can't see be the hard be the hardest to heal"

(also new songs on the playlist)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

told another one!

Tonight I told my soon to be sister-in-law! My older brother just got engaged this past Saturday and his fiance is super cool. They have been dating for THE longest time. Im so glad he finally decided to ask her cause she's awesome. And now that Im livin with him for the summer, I thought I should tell her since Im going to be seeing her a lot.

Tonight we went to see Bridesmaid which was fuckin hilarious!! Its supposed to be the female version of The Hangover and it's pretty close to it. My bro's gf was with her girlfriends and me and my bro met up with them at the theaters. After the movie, me, my bro and his gf went to get some pizza and then came back to my brothers place to chill. On the way home, I asked my brother if it was cool to tell her tonight (she was in a separate car) and he said of course and that she wouldnt care in which she didnt. He was in the shower and me and her were just watching tv. I just was like "I have to tell you something." then I said it. For some reason, this time was by far the easiest. I felt a lot more calm and composed compared to the other times I told people. We talked about it for a couple minutes and that was it. She didnt care and she said she felt honored that I told her lol

It feels like more weight has been lifted off my shoulders since telling her. I love the after feeling off telling someone, its awesome to know that you dont have to put a front up anymore when your around that person. Now I just wish I was completely out hahaha

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

college soccer player comes out!

So there has been a division 1 soccer player who came out recently (and no its not me)! He plays at Adelphi University in New York and is a real cool kid. I've gotten the chance to talk with him about the whole process and the teams reaction. We are pretty similar in a lot of ways. I feel like most gay kids are similar in the way of thinking and feeling. He even likes Arsenal! Even though they were really really disappointing this season.

Heres the link to his story and its def a good read: check it out!

Monday, May 9, 2011


Harvey Milk was a gay activist back in the 70's. Never really knew much about him until I saw the movie. MILK is a story about his life and the gay movement in San Francisco which opened my eyes to so much more. It really changed how I view the gay community and changes its been through. I almost cried at some of the points in the movie cause it was so moving and there were many things I could relate too. There were several parts where I got the chills though. If you havent seen it, for sure check it out! I've had it on my computer for about a year and I have been meaning to watch it and I finally did. (and it has James Franco swimmin naked so it has to be good) hahaha

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Another Year Down

Well half way done with college!! (depending if I get my masters but that’s undecided right now) I ended up just keeping the secret between my one roommate and me. I didn’t want the headache of telling my Jamaican roommate when I had other stuff to think about. Their culture and beliefs are a lot different than here in the states and didn’t want to argue or cause a problem between us even though I don’t think it would of happened.

It was funny though cause when I was packing my room up, I had a pink snuggie still in the box (it was my sisters from last semester and she gave it to me.) I never used it and it was under my bed all semester but my Jamaican roommate saw it and was like “hey, you got something to tell us?” cause it was us and my other roommate who already knew but we just laughed it off. Only if he really knew hahaha

Im on my way home right now but its taking a lot longer than expected cause of flooding in Arkansas. It typically takes about 20 hours but we stopped and slept last night at a truck stop and today we hit traffic cause the highway connecting Memphis to Little Rock was closed. We took a detour that took 4 hours cause of so much traffic. It sucked balls and now we wont get home til like 3am.

I cant wait to see my friends tomorrow though! And its summer time so its all goody

Sunday, May 1, 2011

thoughts on some gay stuff

Past couple of weeks some things have happened regarding some gay things said. I will try to separate it just to make it easier to understand...

Being gay doesnt effect anyone besides that person so why do others care so much?
 - So I was on facebook and one kids status caught my eye. He wasnt even a friend of mine but one of my friends commented on it so thats how it came up on my news feed. The status just said "who wants to hang out?" It was from a kid that goes to the high school I graduated from and we have mutual friends but I dont personally know the kid. I clicked his picture and he was obviously gay. Wore make up, had a "alter-ego" name and it was a girl name, and I even think it said he was into guys but anyways. Some kid commented on the status saying "no one like hangin out with faggets!" Then people liked that! I couldnt believe someone would actually write that on someone status. Like why the fuck would you take the time out of your life to comment on a kids status you clearly arent friends with, then spend 45 minutes defending why people dont like gay people. The status had like 40 comments because it was back and forth between people saying the kid who wrote "no one like hangin out with faggets" comment was an ass then him saying gay people shouldnt be a live. This made me mad just because I couldnt believe these kids would say some shit like that. Like forreal, why do people care so much whether someone is gay or not. It has nothing to do with them.

MTV Real World controversy
-If you dont watch the show, its about 8 random people who live in a house together in Las Vegas. Well a housemate named Dustin previously used to work on Fratmen.com. Its a gay site which has straight guys just do stuff naked. But it was a secret he has been hiding since being on the site. The secret came out while they were filming and the whole house found out. He isnt gay but the thought of him workin in gay porn had the other housemates questioning him. It was ironic this happened though because in a previous episode, he was caught saying man and women were created for procreation and gays shouldnt be able to marry. The dude is a chump in my eyes just cause the way he acts and stuff. He's always lying and sayin stupid ass shit. I thought I would write about it just because it was similiar to me cause not to many people know my secret and the reactions he got when the others found out are the ones I dont want. They were all pissed caused he wasnt being truthful about who he really is but I dont think I would tell others if I did gay porn. That seems like it could be a difficult conversation lol

My Homophobic roommate
-Ive talked about him before. He is from Jamaica and plays on the team with me and he doesnt like gays. If you remember a while ago, he was the one who said he would kill his child if it was gay. But he said that being gay goes against everything he believes in and that its bad to be gay. Im not the one to stand up and defend but thats more out of not wanting to be called out. I mean he is a great guy and love him and all but I just feel like he needs to be more open minded. He's a senior and wont be returning next year and the next three days might be the last ones I see him (school is almost over!!) unless he comes to visit or I go to Jamaica. Ive thought about tellin him but just never have. Not really a point either to tell him now just cause I wont see him much anymore. I do kind of want to put a better or more realistic picture about gays in his mind. Not all are flamboyant and talk like girls or cant play sports. Im for sure better than him at soccer (not being cocky but my stats show it) and just want to show that gays can be normal guys. Im most defiantly not the stereotypical gay. All the people Ive told had no idea and didnt believe me (mom still doesnt really) and no one ever questions me. I just feel like he has the wrong idea and would love to tell him how it really is.

Thats about it really, school is so close to being done. I got one final Monday and one on Tuesday and Im done! Somehow I managed to survive this past week with all the projects I had. And hopefully Im getting to go home before I go to Nashville because I want to see my friends so bad. I have two friends who go to Alabama and were there during the tornado. One of their houses is gone now. I couldnt the picture she put up on facebook showing her place. It was nothing besides broken wood and random clothes on the ground. I feel so bad seeing that shit happen. They were friends with the couple who was the football player and the girl who died. Fortunately the guy is in the hospital but I cant believe one of their friends was killed by it. It sucks seeing that shit happen. Especially someone who has the rest of their life ahead of them and its taken away like that. So I just ask everyone prays for everyone who has been affected by that awful tornado :/ (kind of turned to a depressin post)