Thursday, January 6, 2011

help please

Okay, so I want to tell my one of my best friends about my secret, the thing is, he isn't in town. He is still at school because he plays basketball and I don't really see him during the school year. He came home for 2 days for Christmas break then he left back to school. Is writing a letter a legit way to tell him? I honestly cant see myself telling him over the phone. It would be awkward as fuck and I couldnt do that. I would much rather tell him in person but I dont want to wai til summer and  have it on my mind this whole semester.

So I need some ideas or help on a way to tell him. I will more than likely write him a letter then email it to him but I'm open to other ideas...

And, does anyone know how I can turn on anonymous commenting? Apparently not everyone can comment and I have no idea how to change that. So please helppp haha

Thanks everyone!


  1. click on settings - comments - anyone can comment

  2. I am new to your blog but I was in the same spot you were when I was in college and to be is a better way to go then a letter. The reason being, a letter is very formal and almost like a "dear john" sort of know it is going to be serious before you even open it! An email is far less serious and alot more cheery(if that is the right word...not sure) but an email is like "hey what's up....just wanted to tell you something that I think you should know...."

    Anyway, good luck however you is hard and I know where you are at.

  3. I agree with the email thing for sure. Letters are cool for parents but when it comes to friends, if you can't do it in person for whatever reason, just shoot the kid an email. It's casual enough, but still serious that he would reply promptly.

    Good luck man,

  4. I had the same comment problem, I had no idea you had to switch it over. As for the another suggestion I would say maybe skype. I don't know how comfortable you are with it but you could have video chat on so that you guys can see each other and then you can say it or type it out. You know your friend so you have to judge how he would react to that method, otherwise I agree with the guy above that an e-mail is better and can open up a conversation about it much quicker than a snail mail letter because you won't know exactly when he gets it and then a response could take a while. With an e-mail he can respond to you with what you said right there and would be able to reference what you say and then you could respond back. Hope this helps.

  5. Although an e-mail would be more appropriate, as far as capturing the sentiment, as the two comments above suggest, you must weight the fact that e-mails can be saved, forwarded and possibly get into the wrong hands. I'm sure you know your friend, and hopefully he wouldn't do anything like that to you, but I see a scenario where he gets your e-mail and thinks "now what the heck am I supposed to do with this information?" Then he forwards it to another friend for advise, and then next thing you know, you're outted to more than just your friend.

    I might suggest an e-mail to your buddy telling him you have something important to tell him, and you prefer not to wait until you see him in person, and could you call him and talk on the phone?

  6. Choose how you normally talk to him during the year. If you talk to him on msn that's good cos you get instant feedback. If it's email you usually use, then do that. Or by text. Make it just part of the normal conversation you have with him, just be as relaxed as you can about it haha

  7. Nick- Thanks so much! I feel like an idiot that it was that easy and I never knew hah

    Gbinwpb- I understand what you mean by that. I would probably do an email over a letter thinking about it now. Either way its still gonna be serious lol

    Cash- Thanks dude, I think Im gonna send him one tonight. Just nervous as fuck to hear the response from him

    Jack- I got you what you mean by he could send it but I know he wouldnt. If anything, Im planning on telling our friends anyways soon. I just wanted to tell him first cause he is like a brother too me if that makes. Im for sure gonna say keep this to yourself for the time being anyways jsut in case. I just cant see myself telling over the phone, it would be wayyyy to awkward!

    Billy- We dont talk to much while we are at school just cause we both are pretty busy with sports. I will call him or chat him on fb and he will do the same but we dont have like a set way of communication and thats why I thought an email would be good just cause its means its somewhat serious. idk though

  8. Realize I'm late to the game w/ the comments, but figured I'd throw my hat in the ring for sending him an e-mail. That's how I came out to all my friends from HS when they confronted me about being gay and it worked pretty well. Plus you won't have to worry about actually getting the words out of your mouth like you have in the past, including with him.

  9. Any chance you could go visit him at his school?

  10. Socrkid: Finally I can comment now, thanks for enabling that feature. Yeah, so email would work, at least you can continue the dialogue if you want. Or you can always write a snail mail and include a email address for followup.

  11. Guy Next Door- I thought I would skype him but i feel that might be very awkward as well. I was gonna do it last night but we were just fb chatting and i never asked him to switch to skype but I thought it over and might just send him an email. I feel like that might be the best.

    RJ-Thats good to know it worked for someone. Ya I figured I will be able to write it all out and not get choked up while saying it.

    Wharton- Unfortunately, no there isnt. I leave for school sunday and its quite a distance to his school.

    Fan of Casey- Haha no problem! I did it for you! :) thats why I thought email would be best

  12. K good luck man.. email it yes. Be sure to let us know how it goes.

  13. I like the idea of an email. Phone conversation makes it awkward when it comes to thinking of a response and people tend to speak before they think in awkward situations. Either way keep us posted.