4 weeks ago...
I was in Utah visiting my best friend at his school. It was so sick! Utah is such a nice place. The mountains, temperature, weather was abosolutely perfect!! Im jealous of my friend that he lives there. He goes to school about an hour an a half outside of Salt Lake. We went to Salt Lake a couple of times and visited the mormon temple downtown and that was pretty cool and did some shopping there. I was up there for about a week and a half. Just chilled and played a shit ton of Fifa lol. I smashed everyone in it. But we went out the first night to a party at a friend of his. I guess it wasnt much of a party but more of just chill kind of thing. Played some beer pong, smoked just chilled. It was cool. There were some guys there that he didnt know and one of the was gay. If he wasnt then he was very feminine and gay acting. Personally not a fan of that type. But during the night he came over and touched my friend and was talking to us then left. My friend turned to me and was like why the hell did that fag touch me. I just laughed and played it off saying he liked him lol. I mean this is the stuff that keeps me locked up inside. I know I shouldnt care what others think but thats a problem I have. Its whatever now but just pissed me off when it happened. The rest of the time there was awesome so I cant complain about that. Went on a hike, did some training, we long boarded soooo much. I never skateboarded or anything like that before. So I learned how to do that there and i love it now. At night we would go this parking garage there and skate down it from the top. Its so chill and relaxing.
3 weeks ago...
Got back from Utah and had to pack since I was leaving for school in two days from the day I got back. I had to get back to school for preseason. But went out the last night I was there to my friends party. It was fun
2 weeks ago...
So on the way to school our car broke down. We (me and my sister) drive to North Carolina passing through Nashville cause my brothers gf lives there and we can stay there overnight to continue driving the next morning. But we get there and we meet up with my brother (he was there for something) and his gf and go to dinner. On the way back to my brothers gf's place, the transmission blows. My sister was driving and she couldnt accelerate anymore so we took it to the shop the next morning to get fixed. They called us later on in the day and to say it would take a week to fix! My sister had to be back a week before me but I wanted to get there to train and run and stuff. So this was a tuesday and my sis had to be at school the next day. My mom eventually bought her a plane ticket to fly to school so she would be there on time. I ended up staying in Nashville til Sunday just hanging out with my brother and his gf. It was fun. Didnt do much. Ran and played soccer with him. Went out to downtown Nashville one night. It was cool but Im not much a dancer so I just chilled really. It was kind of awkward as well cause it was me, my brother, his gf, and a friend of theirs who is 28 and I was partnered with her :/ lol we got to the club and she was dancing on me trying to get to dance but it was awkward dancing with her and im not much of a dancer. Like I have mixed feelings about the clubs. I think its wierd seeing like 40 year old guys trying to dance with 18 year old girls and fat not good looking girls dance with other girls. I know this isnt every club but there was this stuff happening at this place. Anyways, it was cool I guess and we ended up getting the car back and left on sunday.
This week...
My mom made my brother drive with me up to school cause she doesnt trust me? She says Im the problem child and im the one she has to worry about. I just like to have fun annddd I got my first speeding ticket a month before I left to school so she didnt want me to get another one. So when I got here, I got right to training trying to get used to the humidity here. Its sucks here! I walk outside and I start sweating. In Dallas, its straight heat but here is a combo of that and humidity. Its awful. But we started preseason yesterday and it sucks so far lol. We had one of our fitness tests in the morning then a bunch of meetins, then our strength test in the afternoon then a training session at night. Today we had training this morning then more meetings, and another training session at 415!! So fucking hot!! and to start to the practice off, we had to do some fitness test that sucked so bad! but its whatever now cause I took a ice bath at 48 F and now Im just chillin and the legs are feeling great! Got to wake up and do our last fitness test though then have another practice at night. Its good to be back at school and playing soccer. Good to see all the guys on the team. And the freshman are all cool too so this year is gonna be a good one I think. One of my roommates hates gays though lol I think its kind of funny how people dont like other based on sexual preferene. It doesnt make sense. How is what they are doing the bedroom or who they are interested effect them? Dont understand it. Its whatever though.
Feels good to post again and finally let yall know what I have been up to. Sorry about the sloppyness. Didnt reread it or edit. Just a straight flow of my thoughts
Posts
Hey man, I haven't posted in awhile either! I need to get on that. But anyways... they always say, if people really knew that one of the people they hang out with or their friends were gay, they'd change their opinions (well most of em). Like the friends that actually know you and you are tight with, that don't even think your gay. Theres this like stereotype, and when you don't pop out as gay, it makes people think. Have a good semester bro, I don't start till the 30th :)
ReplyDeleteYeah I think that could happen, I mean were like brothers so I think he could end up being cool with but I'm just over thinking it. And what the hell! Thats so much later than us. I wish I went to where you go. Have a good one too man!
ReplyDeletejust gotta say the first comment is pretty true... most of my good friends that I've told they were like oh shit really... and they feel bad about saying stuff in the past. None of them really "hated" gays tho haha that's a bit extreme, they just said fag/homo/that's gay a lot and stuff. Once I told them and not everyone else knows they've come up to me and been like "man I totally didnt realize how much people say gay and fag, its so weird" now that they know and its conscious in their minds that their friend is one! So ya, people's perceptions do change, but the good thing is that most of your close friends are likely to stick with you and they have your back when you need it. Peace bro
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ReplyDeletetaylor- I agree, I feel like they could change and might change, Im just not ready to find out. Like my teammates, I honestly cant tell you how they would react. Everyones reaction would be completely different. I feel some would be fine with it while others might not talk to me. I dont know though, I cant see myself telling them anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteDude, thats the same reason why I haven't come out to any of my friends yet either. For me personally, as I get to know my friends better each day, I always keep tabs on each person to try and see if their homophobic or talking down upon gay people. To be honest, almost none of my friends are. I do have a couple and unfortunatley one of them is a good friend. But just like Taylor said, your real friends will stick to by your side. Its not like your hurting anyone for being gay.It might take a couple of your friends some time to understand this shocking news but time always heals things and hopefully your friends, as well as mine, can be mature about it and stay friends no matter what issues come between us
ReplyDeletemr average- I know I try to do the same to see where my friends stand on the viewpoint of gays and so far its not looking so hot lol. I had a guy on my team last semester that left that had a gay sister and he thought it was cool. Sucks he left cause im sure he would understand. And your right, im not hurting anyone else by being gay
ReplyDeleteHonestly though, their viewpoints may be shitty now, but I think if they knew you were gay they would re-evaluate their opinions knowing your such a cool guy, who happens to be gay. And remember, you dont owe anyone anything. The time will come when you feel ready to come out to the first person. Try not to stress too hard over it either, I did the night I came out to my brother and I thought I was going to faint. I think people are more accepting of it then we think, we just tend to let paranoia get the best of us...
ReplyDeleteStay strong man
ya i think their viewpoints will change, it will take time though for sure. not planning on telling anyone soon so its all good
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