Thursday, November 3, 2011

thoughts about pride

Last night I was doing my normal channel flipping when I turned on my TV. First I go to Espn, Espn2, fox southwest, then VH1 and MTV. Its just a habit I guess cause those are really the only channels I watch. But last night as I got to MTV, I saw a pride flag so without hesitation, I stopped. I tend to find myself watching or reading anything and everything that involves a gay issue. It interests me for some reason. I think its cause its the curiosity I have toward the gay community but im not sure...

Anyways, on MTV was Real World San Diego. Its the new season I guess and this was the first episode I've seen but this show was about the Pride parade they went to. One of the cast members is a lesbian (she's mad cool) and another cast member is either gay or bi (not too sure). But the gay guy had a friend with him the whole time. They made a good couple and were always kissing and doing little things that really made me happy for some reason. It was awesome to see this guy who never experienced stuff like this get to be free and not worry what others thought. The gay cast member said he never has done stuff with a guy in public but at the Pride parade, he was all over his friend. It was cute. It was like a painted picture of what I want.

I've actually never been a huge fan of the Pride parade. I think its too over the top and pretty unnecessary but I've slowly started to accept it. Its awesome to see so many people come together and support the cause. Gay and straight both were out there having a blast. Pride parades aren't about the guys wearing speedos and showing how 'gay' they can be but rather to show that love is important in no matter what form. Being straight and loving your wife/husband is the same as being gay and loving your wife/husband. This recognition of love and equality is defiantly turning for the better and its awesome to be part of the history of it.

One thing during the show that kind of got to me was the cast-mates roomys. I wish I remembered the names cause it would make this description easier haha but the lesbian and gay guy's cast-mates had to come work at some booth during the parade. There was 2 (one guy and one girl) in particular that weren't very fond of the whole idea of the parade or even the gay community. They both just sat in the booth with blank stares the whole time. Both were so uncomfortable and just made it awkward I felt. The guy said he didn't really approve of the gay thing and was just very closed-minded. The girl started to open up as the show went on which was cool. But these things just dont make sense. Why do people care so much of who likes who or who sleeps with who when it doesn't concern/involve them at all. People should just mind their own business and not worry what others are doing.

ps- thanks for all the comments on the last post! really surprised me how many people actually read it! haha


  1. I'm really enjoying this season of The Real World. Sam is the name of the wicked chill lesbian, Frank is the Bi guy, and the guy he meet at the pride weekend was named Mike. Zac and Ashley were the close minded couple who were uncomfortable being at the Parade. Just in case you were wondering about their WoW do I sound sound like a dork for knowing all of that. Besides me sounding like a lifeless loser who only watches TV (Im not, and I don't, I swear!) I would seriously recommend going back and watching this season, (On the MTV website perhaps?). Watching Frank's journey to accepting himself and becoming comfortable in his not-straight skin has been interesting and fun to watch. And his learning to deal with the prejudices, from both his roomies and his family is fascinating and informative. I would seriously recommend it as relevant for any BI guy dealing with their sexuality, even if you dislike him for being "That Guy" that is a bit of a mess sometimes.

  2. I have kind of mixed feelings on Gay Prides too. Sure the ideas behind it are great, showing your true self, fighting for equal rights, etc... but I doubt dancing in speedos is the right way the achieve that goal. I think it's counterproductive and it confirms peoples idea of the stereotypical gay guy. Because what they do show in the news is of course not the 'normal' guys who walk with, but the flamboyant ones.

    I remember watching the news with my mom shortly after I came out, when there was an item on gay pride. I was ashamed, didn't know how to behave, and mumbled something about silly guys. Because I am sure she was relating one thing with another and thinking she would see me there soon too in speedo and with feathers in my ass.

  3. Socerkid and Kevin -- about gay pride parades: These parades can vary from community to community, but there is an historical reason why they are the way they are. LOL!

    Way back in the 60s and 70s, when the "community" was coming together -- and it was not illegal anymore for gay people to congregate -- people met and courted at one place and one place only -- the local gay bar. Bars would occasionally host drag shows, strip nights, along with softball and football teams. Bars were everything! Even if you were not a drinker -- even if you were a gay bible-thumping religious zealot -- you went to a gay bar to meet other gay people.

    When pride parades started back in the late 60s and up until the present, they were largely sponsored by the same bars where the community came together. That's kind of why they look (and sound) the way they do -- like a giant gay bar marching down the street.

  4. Socrkid: I detect your own emerging pride coming thru with this post. Not everyone agrees with some of the outrageous things that happen at some pride parades but most agree that we should have the freedom to choose to be ourselves. Some are going to be more over the top while others will want something more respective -- the point is the pride parade allows anyone to be open and not repressed.

  5. I think I saw the epi before that one where the guy/gal talked about how they didn't wanna go help at pride, kinda lame of them to be like that I agree.

    Also hear you on the soaking up gay news thing I think it's only natural to want to explore. Current events we can relate to and history which we really didn't know before now. I think that's why I like reading blogs and stuff so much its just easy to check online and see whatsup. What an amazing time to be gay as well, with an extremely progressive time period of history, from what it was 10 years ago.

    When u said that about pride it reminded me of when my uncle from toronto was visiting and talking about pride. Toronto has one of the largest pride parades in the world with 1,000,000 visitors, and he said something like "those people on church street (gay street there) can walk around in things that would be illigal at other times of the year, it's just a terrible excuse for a parade" and it actually got me pretty mad. (not out to him) I just wanted to be like fuck really, how many people were naked out of that 1,000,000. grow up, you know?

  6. so just read on wikipedia that toronto pride week contributed $136 million to the city's economy in 2009 alone. No small coin!!! Should have asked my uncle if he's ok with Pride supporting his kid's schools and paving his roads!!!

  7. Like you I'm not sure of the whole Pride thing, but I am sure of the whole Love thing. When I was younger, that's what I believed, it didn't matter who you slept with as long as you loved them. Time and life have shadowed that. Thanks for the reminder.

  8. I've also felt mixed emotions watching the Pride Parades. But I'm much more comfortable with them now, and I like to think I get it. Either way though I totally support the freedom of expression and the celebration that comes with being proud of who you are!

  9. @ Robert - Thanks for sharing this, I didn't know bout that.

    I've nothing against showing your pride and freedom of expression. I'm totally ok with dancing in speedos, wearing glitter or whatever. It seems fun after all, and straight people do party and show themselves like that too.

    It's just I wouldn't ask for gay marriage, gay adoption or whatever at the same time. Straight people don't ask for freedom of speech/lowering taxes/reasonable houseprices/healthcare or wathever political/social statement while celebrating caranaval or dancing at techno pride. It's two different things for me.

    But it's all good on that.

  10. Kevin, you are right on that point. It seems like a whole bunch of worlds collide during a pride parade/festival.

    When I was coming out, every major city had a newsmagazine/newspaper targeted predominantly to gay men. In each newspaper, there would be certain disparate topics covered. There would be a civil rights article. Next to it, an article about a dance club or bar. Next to that, gay friendly churches would advertise. Then the obituaries (REALLY long in the days when AIDS was a death sentence.) As you moved to the back pages, there were masseuses and "escorts" advertising their services.

    So, in essence, you had in a relatively thin newspaper several slices of the community. Literally, you had pastors and prostitutes advertising themselves on opposite sides of the same page.

    Straight people often do not understand this, and even for gay people it seems incongruous, but when you have a small, often insular community like the gay community, a lot of random things and people get thrown together and piled on top of each other all at the same time.