random venting and kind of hard to read...
I dont know what it is, but I just feel like I'm too nice. And I mean I guess its not a bad thing, but sometimes it just pisses off that others aren't the same or they don't acknowledge it. I dont get walked on by any means, but I just put others first. If we have to drive and no one else will (or wants too), I will. It does piss me off being that of my roomies, 2 of us have cars at school but the other kid is so fucking stingy, he doesn't drive anywhere. Yeah we give him shit but he just doesnt get it. (random but he once gave a waiter a fucking 26 cent tip!! it was so embarrassing when the waiter asked what it was) This kid is one I've talked about before in how he is fake and acts Christian-like but its like a mask. And the thing is, I get a long with him like nothing is wrong. I honestly bottle up my emotions and what I think of others to myself so much that I feel like I'm fake. I dont think I am and I dont think others do either. Im honestly just a nice guy.
I think it does have something to do with me being gay. Im accepting of others and honestly am friends with anyone I meet. I will hang out with a person for a night and from then on, we will keep in touch. I talk to my friends friends that I meet randomly. My friends back home always say Im the nice one and will break the fights up.
Like tonight, me and my roomy (the one that I first told) have been in a fight for the past 2 days in which we havent spoken a word to each other. We get pretty heated over soccer cause we are both so competitive and it gets bad when we are playing against each other. But like our fights are stupid in my opinion. And it always ends up with me asking whats wrong and being the first to talk. I just left his room from seeing what was up and he said he thought I was mad at him which is fuckin stupid. yeah I was mad at him but whatever happens on the field stays there for me, it shouldnt carry over into our friendship off the field. He always carries it over and its hard cause we live together so its pretty awkward around the place when we arent talking.
6 years ago
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I feel the same way about being too nice. Or sometimes, I hate to admit it, naive. I give people too much credit. And sometimes, people take advantage Don't beat yourself up over it and don't change or become a dick. It's who we are. Remember the golden rule. Sorry, kinda preachy. :-)
ReplyDeleteThe world can always use more nice people. You're not too nice, maybe other people aren't nice enough? :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think you have to apologize for being too nice! I think that is an admirable quality. What you have to do is stop worrying if others hold up their end. If you feel someone is using you just pull back some or continue to be nice and just accept them. You are just learning what life is all about. You are a great guy and don't forget it!!
ReplyDeleteTo this day I can honestly say you are one of the nicest people I have ever met in my life. You're easy to talk to, laid-back and genuinely just a nice guy.
ReplyDeleteDon't overthink things, thinking you are fake for bottling up your emotions is whack. You aren't fake at all.
And when you and your homies go out, wait until one of them offers to drive. They probably just expect you to drive since you do it the most.
Good luck with the roomie. Hope your semester goes great!!
I would stop just short of saying you're too nice. reason being I think you stand up for yourself when you feel it's really important, but sometimes let stuff slide (like driving) and over time maybe that grows to piss you off.
ReplyDeleteThere's not a mean bone in your body, and you're definitely one of the kindest guys I know. I definitely feel you on this, I often think I might be too nice sometimes. Honestly part of it is because I'm gay. I've spent the majority of my life firstly hiding who I am, worrying about people's perceptions. Then I grew to not only accept myself but I treat people how I would want to be treated. When I see someone different or in need I go out of my way to make sure they feel welcome or included. That includes doing something nice for someone, sometimes because it's the right thing to do, or just because it would make me feel better, or sometimes just to avoid conflict. If being too nice and doing all those little things is one of my flaws, isn't that a nice flaw to have?
Even if they don't always show it, I think everyone around you must appreciate what you do for them and how kind you are. People may forget what you said or did for them, but they will NEVER forget how you made them feel.
You're a great kid, be proud, be kind, and don't be afraid to tell somebody to fuck off sometime they really deserve it :)
Socrkid: Being nice is a great quality to have, others like you, you get along with people, they want to be around you, people will go out of their way to help you -- but like anything, taken to an extreme and a strength all of a sudden becomes a weakness.
ReplyDeleteSo know where your limits are and don't let people take advantage of you, because some will if you let them -- there's a big difference between being agreeable and a door mat.
Over time you will learn to sharpen your instincts but for now, you seem to be doing a pretty good job of taking a stand over the important things and letting the small stuff slide. You don't want to be a big drama queen and blow every little issue out of proportion.
You seem to feel that if you acknowledge the problem (like with your roomie) that's a sign of giving in but on that contrary you are being the bigger man and acting mature; he's the one throwing a little temper tantrum by giving you the silent treatment. You were being direct and assertive; he was being passive-aggressive. You sensed something was wrong and tried to fix it -- so you did the right thing.
You probably should have a little chat with him to remind him that while on the field, you guys are competitive, off the field you guys are friends that want the best for each other. That will solidify your bond with him.
I love nice guys, never apologize for being nice and having compassion for others.
Hey mate,
ReplyDeleteEnjoying your blog.
I write BisexualDave.com and was wondering if you'd like to trade links.
Dave
I've always thought (and said) you're a nice guy. It shows through your blog in so many little things, and that's why I like it.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the feeling of being too nice very wel, it's something I thought about a lot last months, and even discussed about with a fellow blogger. I don't think you're lacking a spine, neither do I. I have my own thoughts, opinions and interests and I'm totally not susceptible for pack-running. But, in most cases I prefer to be 'the smart one' and shut up, in order to keep the peace or to avoid damaging or using others. It's indeed hard to accept others just don't, and on top even don't get you're doing an effort to make it comfortable for everyone.
Like for my job, I'm doubting about quitting. But actually more out of fear my boss will be in big trouble with me leaving, than just because I have personal reasons to stay. But this effort to go through is never aknowledged, because he even has no clue I'm doing this effort partly for him.
But the question is, is it us being too nice, or the others being too selfish? I personally believe the latter.
btw, You know the song performed by Greenday: 'Nice guys finish last'?
So do I think you're nice? Yes! And too nice? I honestly don't know, neither for myself.
But... nice guys rule!
Too nice? Yah, too nice lookin' ! I loved the photo of you at Christmas. Really made my day.
ReplyDeleteBeing a nice guy is great but there are people in this world who will use you for a doormat, and unfortunately we need to stand up for ourselves sometimes. I am not a fan of organized religions; I feel they are ultimately pernicious and used by men to have power over others, not to mention they are all anti-sex/gay. I'm a retired gay guy, into mountain biking and sport motorcycles. My advice is to stay at least semi-closeted until you have completed your education and are financially independent. Stick to guys around your own age and stay away from gay bars until your mid twenties. - Wayne :)
ReplyDelete