Well with mom knowing ALL of me, things have been somewhat different. I mean not dramatically different, but like she is always trying to do stuff for me. Just little things more often than normal and I dont mind, its just I feel like she feels sorry for me or something. I dont know, could me just being paranoid but I defiantly know she has been acting different.
And I guess she didnt take it as well I as I thought. Apparently she doesnt believe me that I am.
So we just got back from our trip to NC for my sisters graduation and we drove two cars back: our van and my sisters car. Since my sis had so much shit to bring back, we split up in the cars and it was pretty packed. My mom and sister were in her car while me, my brothers and dad were in the van. At a rest stop, I asked my mom if they were having some mother-daughter talks. She said they were just "analyzing different things." So right when I heard that, I knew she meant me but she also said they were talking about my sisters guys. Anyways, we get home and I was going out with some friends so I head up to my room to change and stuff. While I was getting ready, my mom came up to ask her motherly questions to see where I was heading and stuff. But she also said that I should wait to tell anyone else cause she doesn't think I am. It was pretty random but I guess she thought I would just tell the world since she knows but I'm not going too. This kind of pissed me off just thinking that she doesn't believe me but I also think its because she doesn't want me to be. I know parents dont really want their kids to be gay but its not something they can control. She also said that she wants to have a talk with me but I don't really want to. I guess we need to since I haven't talked to her much about it since I told her but even when I told her, she questioned me asking me how do I know and saying it might just be a phase.
Then yesterday, I was just in the "I dont want to be anyone" mood and my mom asked me what was wrong and why am I sad when I was about to go somewhere. I just brushed it off saying it was nothing and she said "Is it because I know you?" and I just said no and kind of starting leaving.
It just kind of sucks that my mom doesn't believe me but I guess I just need to explain to her. Not really looking forward to it but I guess it should be done.