Why cant I just come out to say somebody? I think about it all the time and how bad I want too. I dont know the effects of what will happen but at this point, I'm getting anxious to know.
After reading Taylor's post, I want to tell my friend right now! If they aren't going to accept me now, why would they in a few months? This is how I feel about the situation, but there is still something holding me back. It sucks :(
Well I dont know, Im laying in bed thinking about it and I cant sleep. Congrats to Taylor and big ups to him for having the courage to come out. Hopefully when I tell my friend, it will have the same ending.
-On the upside, had our first game tonight:we won and I scored. We have to win tomorrow if we want to advance.
6 years ago
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I so understand your dilemma and so many others do as well. the problem is that not doing it now will just keep the nagging question going. I am 56 and have never come out and I can tell you it has caused me problems from that, such as depression. I just never had the nerve but if I could tell the younger generation something from my choices it would be to try it. Do you really want to end up like me?? What I find interesting in listening to the young straight people talk about being gay. Many just take it for granted so I think there is a much more open attitude (except in strict religious backed private schools) in your generation. Good luck with it.
ReplyDeleteAs I said to Taylor most guys who come out agree that they should have done it earlier, it was not as bad as they imagined it to be, and acceptance was better than they imagined, and best of all the whole world opens up to you afterwards. Also the person you thought it would be most difficult to tell, is the one who turns out to react the best. Dave
ReplyDeleteHey man, I agree with Dave... I wish I would have done it sooner. Taylor said it best when he said if they aren't going to like it now, they never will. I heard it a million times "If they are your real friends they wont care..." etc, etc... but it seems like a shocker when you finally realize on your own that its true. It's your life, and lying during all of it sucks. No one can tell you to come out, you will know when its your time. Good luck bro!
ReplyDeleteTelling the first person is often the hardest. A little more time won't change his or her reaction, which is usually better than you think that it will be. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteIt's been 4 days since I came out... my mind is still fresh with the sense of horror and fear that I experienced immediately prior to saying "I'm gay" for the very first time.
ReplyDeleteBut then... I just said it. It was done. It was like my mind experienced a freedom it didn't even recognize. ...I'm gay... the inability to say those two fucking words nearly ruined my life. I took a stand and decided that something so trivial and inconsequential would not bring me down any longer.
It's sooooooo hard to get to that point mentally. That feeling holding you back? I hate it. But it's gone now. You, me, and most of your readers know that feeling well. It sounds silly but you really do need to come out to yourself first before anyone else. By that I mean like "I have totally accepted who I am... now I just share that with the people I love."
Once you're at that point, it's probably time to tell them. Don't do it drunk, or when you're angry. Don't rush it, but be aware that there will never be a time where you feel completely comfortable about telling someone. That feeling will come after... and it's the greatest.
Good luck man. You have a virtual support network in all of us. If you need anything at all, send me an email.
after all that rambling I almost forgot... congrats on the goal dude :)
ReplyDeleteDiv 1 athlete, gay, AND lights up the scoreboard? COUNT IT! Where do I sign up? ;)
Thanks everyone for the help!! It means a lot that I can write how I feel and people understand where Im coming from. Thanks for all the advice too!! Yall are awesome!!
ReplyDeleteI still have that same feeling holding me back...I don't know if my friends and family will reject me. I would hope not, but I'm still trying to get the guts to take the leap. Know that there's a ton of guys (liek me) in your situation. Congrats on the goal! Pumped about world cup..
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm thinking about taking the leap and telling a friend soon. Im so freaking nervous about it. Dont want to ruin a good friendship because of that. But, I cant wait for the world cup!! its gonna be soo sickk!!
ReplyDeleteWORLD CUP IS GONNA ROCK!!!
ReplyDeletei thought my friends would freak when i told them, but they didn't. They were all very supportive and cool with the whole thing. The weird thing is, I believe we subconsciously picked good friends who wouldn't judge and would ultimately be cool. Think about it, you wouldn't hang with a total dick that hated gays...
Well, tonight is the first time I've read your blog. I happened upon it from another blog. I've enjoyed reading what you've written, but this particular entry caught my attention more than the rest because of it's content. I normally don't make it a habit of leaving comments because I never know if they'll be appreciated or not. I've been out for 5 years now and believe me, life is definitely different on this side of the coin. However, I don't subscribe to the philosophy that most guys believe they should have come out sooner. I think we all come out when we're ready and not before. Coming out is a deeply personal decision. One that requires a lot of looking inward and evaluating life's circumstances. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. Coming out sooner would have made it easier because a lot of situations could have been avoided, but those situations made me who I am today and in some ways they have helped me become a stronger person, especially dealing with those people who don't agree with the lifestyle. Admittedly, I come from the Bible Belt in the Deep South (Mississippi to be exact) and attitudes here aren't as liberal as they are in other parts of the country. To my surprise though, a lot of people accepted me without a problem and there were some that definitely shunned my existence. All of this has its advantages and disadvantages. I hope that you are eventually able to come out, but in your own time and in your own way. This blog is a step in the right direction. Keep using it as an outlet and you will find more and more people in your situation, I'm sure and you will have a much larger community of support. Have a good one!
ReplyDeleteChris- I really appreciate the comment as well as the others! I understand I will come out when the time is right. Hopefully is sometime in the near future. Thanks again for the comment! :)
ReplyDelete