today at training, i got some news from a teammate that another teammate of mine told some girl he was talking to a couple weeks back, MY secret. not sure what entitlement he got that he can go out and tell other people something that doesn't involve him. especially when i told him specifically that i didn't want him spreading it. and it just so happens that he told the girl (who plays lacrosse at our school) while she was at lunch with one her teammates - so of course, she over heard and went and told one of her teammates, which in turn, told my teammate, who told me.... for all i know, the whole women's lacrosse team might know or even other kids around campus. when some news hits a team at my school, it tends to spread pretty quick just because all athletes are pretty interconnected.
so i messaged the girl that my teammate told and to see what happened. i was nice about it cause i know her and she is a cool girl but it turned out okay i guess. i mean, yeah i'm pissed but there isn't much i can do about it now. i'm gettin to the point of not caring anyways but i really would like to just come out on my own terms.
in other shitty news, an old teammate of mine that i roomed with my sophomore year came back to visit for a couple of days. he is Jamaican and i know i used to right about him because of the shit he's said in the past about gay people. so tonight before i left to take him downtown to the Amtrack bus station, i told him. wasn't a good response and he just basically dismissed it and said "yup, its about that time to go now". i told him that more than half the team knows and what other people know - it didnt phase he decision that he made up in his mind already though.
i dont know, it just blows my mind how ignorant some people are these days. it's been even more noticeable with Prop 8 and DOMA being voted on the past two days. yes, i changed my facebook profile to the red sign, but i think thats about far i went on facebook. i didnt post any other stuff about it because i dont think its something that needs to be shoved down everyone's throat. its not necessary. i did read numerous posts against same-sex marriage though. many of these just seem to carry no merit when i think about it. it's 2013 - how is this even still a topic? i can't wait for the years when people look back at this time and ask why our society was against it. it happened with African-American rights and womens rights. soon it will be with gay rights.
also, in other shitty news, i think i gave up on soccer too early. it sucks to realize this now. when i should of put in more work regarding my speed and quickness back my sophomore and juniors years, i didnt. i gave up on myself to early because i thought i didnt want to continue after school but now i realize that i love the game too much. when training gets canceled, i get mad. when we do train, i get happy. my mood depends solely on how soccer went that day. people now still ask me why i dont pursue it. when i practice with the team, i feel i stand out. granted i dont think we have the best players we could potentially have, but i still have the natural soccer brain in which can help a player reach that next level. the natural soccer brain is something that lacks on our team. so many players cannot think throughout the game and it kills me to play with these kids. its so frustrating at training to play with kids like that but my love for the game keeps me there.
some positive news though, on monday, i benched 205 four times which was huge for me. that was my first time gettin over 200 and thats with 2 warmup sets and 2 work sets before that. then on wednesday, i squatted 290 five times. thats the most i've done since being at school and holy shit, its pretty heavy haha. a good lift is such a good stress reliever for me. i love seeing the improvements and seeing my numbers go up. and we still got 4 more weeks left of school to bump them up even more.
also, this project that i was working on for the past week was completed today with the final presentation. it was for my estate planning seminar class and we had to set up an estate plan for a wealthy couple with a shit ton of assets and debts. it was cool to put everything we learned together but it was such a headache finding the right plans. especially cause it was supposed to be a group of 3 which turned out to me and one other kid doing all the work. our third group member was a baseball player and used the 'athlete-in-season' card which was bullshit. its all good now though since its over. the remaining 4 weeks are going to suck though with so many papers and projects and tests though.
so this was a bit longer than i anticipated but had some shit on my mind that i needed to get out. hope everyone is doing good though.
1 week ago