Thursday, June 30, 2011

the kid i can count on

The first person I told my about my lil secret has probably been my closet friend for the past year. Its my roommate from freshman year, sophomore year, and we will be living together next year as well. He is also on the soccer team with me at school. I seriously can talk about ANYTHING with him and he doesnt care. Ever since coming out to him, I feel like we have defiantly gotten closer. He understands where I'm coming from with the coming out process cause he has some gay family members but unfortunately, it wasnt as easy for them cause they were brought up differently.

But the other day when New York passed the bill for same sex marriage, I chatted him saying I can get married in New York now. He said thats awesome that another state is legalizing it. Then he said something along the lines of this: "so when you get married in new york, i better be invited first off all cause ive never been to new york and second, you better tell your husband that he has the pullout or floor cause im sleeping in the same bed as you :) " I was cracking up reading that and it felt so good that he like hes just so chill with the whole gay thing. We went on talkin about marriage and if I ever will get married but I'm not to sure if it will happen. Im actually not into the whole marriage thing. I would feel awkward having a wedding with friends and family there for some reason. 

Then we went on talking about kids cause Im coaching camp again this week and I got the 7 year olds which is sometimes frustrating but I also love it. I really want my own kid (really only a boy cause I dont want to deal with female problems haha.) And I kind of want my kid to be blood related meaning I would have to find a surrogate mother. I have no idea of the process of all that but I think it would be different to have some lady carry my child for 9 months then just hand him over lol But I told my roommate that I would have to find a dime (good lookin women) to carry my sperm. And he said "ya cause she would have to make up for your ugly ass looks" hahaha

And yesterday, I told him about my past hookups lol It was all through fb chat but I mean he tells me every detail when he hooks up with a chick. Mainly cause im asking to make jokes about it but he gets mad when I dont tell him stuff. So i decided I would and I did that yesterday. Told him about craigslist and the random hookups and he thought it was cool. He was real happy I finally decided to tell him stuff and he was happy Ive been gettin my dick wet lol

This kid is awesome and love him to death. I feel like everyone should have someone like this in real life to help express feelings and talk about stuff with. I might of gotten lucky to find such a great friend but I'm super glad I did :)

ps-my homie Secrets of An All-American from the blog world told someone!! give him a shout cause thats fuckin hugggee


  1. Socrkid: After having to suppress so much of your feelings, it's so refreshing to hear you talk about being open with yourself and your best bud. Most of us are social creatures in some way and having someone to share your stories, listen to you when you need to vent, and support you is fantastic. Your roomie hasn't treated you any different, which is great compliment to your friendship with him.

    I'm also glad you are looking to the future and see hopeful signs instead of diminished opportunities. LOL, because of this post, I learned a new euphemism for sex (getting my dick wet). You've come so far (go back and read the despair in some of your older posts), and it started with that first step, being true to yourself.

  2. look at you kid, doing good man. And I sleep next to my roommate all the time, the bf knows the role haha.

  3. cool man, yeah i have a best friend like that also,,except he was super drunk once and asked me to give him a bj!! haha gotta help a friend out

  4. You really are a very lucky guy with a friend like that. How you can talk so laid-back about any gaystuff with him... it makes me almost jealous to have a buddy like that since I can do this only to girls. Wich isn't the same I think, cause guys will be guys you know.

    Funny you talked about marriage, feel the same over here. In Belgium it's alowed since 5 years or so, but I'm not very into it, it seems such a show. Since I'm with my bf for 7 years, people often ask about that. And mostly their next question is who will be wearing the weddingdress... duh, do we look like girls or so, I don't think so. So then I say we won't marry because we can't decide who will be wearing the dress lol... It's like that other always coming back question about who's top and who's bottom (even my mom asked once! I mean, when I would ask if she gives head to my dad or she likes doggystyle, I would be called respectless lol - really don't want to know). My answer then depends on who asks this; mostly I just smile and put on my funny face, but to open-minded people I sometimes say the truth; none of these cause we don't do anal. And then they look like huh, gay and no anal??? Yeah, straith people... lol.

    And about the kids, you now that's whats on my mind all the time these days. When I have a little more time I'll write you about that.
    Now finishing my last working day, then I'm ready for Spain Whoehaaa.


  5. Kids, marriage - never thought any of that shit was for me. Oops, now look. Two months pregnant with a surrogate in Cali. Crazy.

  6. Wow! I hope you realize how inspirational you are to other people in writing this blog and sharing your experiences! Your personal journey gives courage to others who are beginning their own journeys of coming out, to individuals who enjoy sports and now know "gay athlete" is not an oxymoron, and to those of us from a previous generation (I won't use the word older :)) who can identify with your experience. Your blog does make a difference!!
    Question to ponder: Have you ever considered going into education as a teacher/coach? You enjoy working with youth at your camp, you have excellent communication skills, and you would be a great role model for the young people you would work with in the classroom and the field. Although it seems teachers have an seemingly endless number of critics, I can personally tell you it is one of the most personally rewarding careers you can choose because you know you make a difference in the lives of the students and athletes you work with. Although I am not officially "out" to my middle school students, I am sure they know. I hope I make a difference in both how young people perceive gay men, as well as when several of them realize they are gay as they grow older that there has been a positive, healthy role model for them to identify with. That person could be you.
    I hope some day Wisconsin, and the whole country, will be as progressive as New York state. We need to work to make that happen, and you are already doing that by coming out to your friends and family, building an ally base to support us and defend our rights.
    Hope your soccer summer is going well, and you are on your way to a great fall at your school!

  7. Love your blog. Hate your music.

    Wait, I'm not a hater.

    Love your blog. I don't love your music.

  8. it's great you got a bud like that to count on. it gets harder and harder to find guys like that. o yea and i get what you're saying about kids cuz i freakin love kids and want my own, but selfishly i want a biological kid!'d be messy getting that to happen haha.

    btw i've been in the process of watching milk after you posted about it a few months ago..was always meaning to watch it but never got a chance. so i dled and have been watching it like 10 minutes at a time. will maybe post my thoughts on it if i ever finish it haha.

  9. That's awesome that your buddy is comfortable talking with you about everything. Definitely the sign of a true friend who you can depend on.

  10. That's great you can be so open with your friend and that he supports you!

  11. FoC- I know, reading my old posts is so weird! Im really happy Ive came this far. feel like a new man! hah

    Cash-hahaha thats whatsup. its awesome havin someone like this we can talk with anddd i hope things are good with the bf!

    James-hahah thats pretty funny. he hasnt done that and dont think he will since he doesnt drink. hes not my type either so hes out of luck anyway lol

  12. Kevin-hahah thats hilarious about the dress question and about the questions yall get. Thats something I feel would be weird cause I mean Im always curious to know if I see a gay couple so Im sure others are curious. But no anal really? haha

    Im glad your done with work and hope you had fun in Spain!!

  13. Jeff and Kevin- Dang man thats crazy! How do you go about doin that then? I have thought about it cause I want a kid thats blood related but I feel like it would be weird but congrats for you man!

    Anonymous- Thanks a lot!! I never thought my blog would be something helpful for others but glad it is. For my future job thoughts, I have thought about coaching, not so much teaching. I do love kids and interacting with them so I think I would be a great coach but I guess it just depends how my major works out after school...Im sure your making a difference in the perception of gay men and I thank you for your work. Im sure the country and our generation will help the gay movement since people are starting to not care so much. it just takes times.

    TB-indeed, hes the best dude around haha

    Explorer Jack- hahahahahah thats awesome! but thanks for the honesty and i might be able to make some changes lol

    madmanMD- ya man, adopting is cool but havin a blood related kid would be sickk i think. just kind of hard with two dudes lol...and finish it man! its a good movie and shows james francos ass :)

    PNW Dude- oh for sure, i can count on him for anything, and hope he knows he can do the same.

    Mike- ya hes a good guy