Saturday, May 1, 2010

getting caught up

So I havent posted in a couple days. I have been super busy with school coming to a close and having to get things set for the summer. But some fun things have occured within the past 24-hours that I would like to share.

Things that might help to understand this. I talked about two girls in my previous posts. They both like me and one helps with my homework and stuff and the other just likes me. I will just call homework girl 1 and the other girl that likes me 2. (not sure if this will help but thought my story might get hard to understand if I didnt. Dont want to use names just for personal reason.)

It started last night when we went out. We downtown to a club as a team. It was the first time I went to the club since I have been at school. Im not the dancer type so clubs dont really appeal to me (unless I have had a couple of drinks). It was just the last time to go out before school ended and we didnt have school today so I thought why not. But we went to a kids house on the team to drink some before we went to the club. That helped a little while I was there to loosen me up. And the whole day I  have been texting girl 2 about tonight so we would meet up at the club. She was wanting me to come out so we could dance and stuff. (girl 2 is the one that likes me...see above lol.)

So we got there kind of early so we could pay $5 instead of $10. College budget these days :) haha. We basically just posted up on the bar until more people got there. It was packed with guys at the beginning which wasn't bad for me but not for my teammates for obvious reasons lol. None were my type though. I was up in the sky as well if you know what I mean. I dont do it often but it was a team bonding thing that night. Everything was super slow and I just noticed the little things. Its just weird sitting back and watching how people act in those enviroments. I was analyzing everything. It was freaking me out how much I noticed. It's funny seeing the awkward moments that happen at clubs. Ex: Two girls are just talking and a guy starts dancing on one, then the other girl just stands there staring while her friend is basically having sex in front of her. Those things just crack me up haha. Anyways, when more people starting showing up, it got better. There were a ton of people from my school there too. Its weird seeing them and talking to them at the club but we dont speak a word to each other in class. And both girls that liked me showed up too. Girl 1 found me and pulled me from the bar to dance. Like I said earlier, Im not a dancer. But she wasnt having that. She basically dragged me to the dance floor. There were some awkward moments cause she kept looking me in the eyes and like really getting into. But she was grabbing my hands and rubbing them against her tits and other places lol. I was like alright this is weird cause I dont like her at all and I dont want her to think I do. (At previous parties, she is always over me and tells other people that she wants me to have sex with her but I dont want to for obvious reasons ;) ) Anyways, during the dance, she asks "Why aren't you into this?" When I heard this, I like froze on the inside and was like "uhhhhh..." I quickly said "I just dont like dancing." She didnt seem happy when I said that but whatever. Once that song was done, I saw my friend walk behind me so I just grabbed him and put him behind her and said have fun! lol I just wanted ot get away from that girl. I avoided her the rest of the night. 

After escaping from girl 1, I was just posted up near my roommate talking about random girls and stuff. Showing that I am interested and stuff. But out of nowhere, girl 2 grabs my hand and says "lets dance!" I couldnt say no really cause she has been telling me were going to dance at some point during the night and I was just trying to get it over with. I basically just stood there while she did her thing on me. It was fun and the music was on point. We danced for a long time too. She kept turning around and getting really close to my face. After a couple of songs, she gave me a kiss and this lead to a makeout session on the dance floor in  front of my whole team. I didnt want this to happen for the fact that I knew I was gonna get shit. She is cute and really chill so I was like whatever. After that kiss, she was hooked to me. I got tired from dancing so I told her I had to go to the bathroom which I didnt but I had to get away. I went to find my roommate to talk about what happened. He was already giving me shit for it lol. As I was talking to him, a girl that I talk to occasionally wanted to dance so I danced with her for like half a song until girl 2 saw and came and jumped in lol. The rest of the night I just danced with her. Overall it was fun and I had a good time. I guess if girl 2 didnt grab me to dance, I would of been by the bar the whole night so that was a plus. I could of done without the hookup though lol.

So that was Thursday night for you lol. I know it was long but had to get all off my chest. Then Friday, me and two teammates when to this quarry thing to cliff jump. I didnt mind do to it since they said it was like 30-40 ft. But I had no idea it was gonna be how big it was when I got there. It was huge!! I was freakin out when I saw that. My heart was racing and my hand and whole body was shaking. My friends jumped off first just to make sure there was nothing in the water to hit. They did it fine so I thought might as well go for it. I did and I felt so accomplished. My heart was racing so fast when I landed. It was by far the most intense thing I have ever done.

Well, thats about it. Left some stuff out but I thought I shared too much on this post lol. good to be back on here!

15 comments:

  1. i take girl 2 was hotter than girl 1?
    btw was that ur first kiss with a girl?

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  2. haha, yeah girl 2 is hotter than 1 but no that wasnt my first

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  3. Good post, but it seems that you are just using girl 1 or she probably thinks she deserves something for helping you with homework or something. Anymway, good luck.

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  4. I know it seems like that, but Im not trying too. We are good friends and I dont mind her but she wants to be more than friends which I dont want. I have told her numerous times too but she still persists on trying to hook up with me.

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  5. Girl 1 may really care for you and want to move things to the next level. This is an example of how straight people are hurt by homophobia. If you could be out and honest to both of these girls they wouldn't be doing this. They both may be upset by how Thursday night went.

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  6. I agree g&p, but well, not only straight people are hurt, this is a situation in which nobody wins and everybody gets hurt. I know it sucks but it is reality, and it will stay the same until we decide to change it.

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  7. Cool glad your back posting man! sounds like a fun night on dance floor. at least there were no hot guys around or else you'd be staring more. lol. I hope school ended well for you.

    oh btw, I changed my blog link and name. Formerly BiSportzDude changed to BiDudeNY (BDNY) http://bidudeny.blogspot.com.

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  9. I read your entire blog today and I can't help but make note that your friends probably already suspect.

    And I have to agree with those above. It's never good to string someone along. It's great that you told her you're not interested but she probably feels more rejected than anything. Like there is something wrong with her since y'all spend a significant amount of time together.

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  10. I have tried to tell girl 1 that I'm not interested and its not worth it to me to come out to her and risk it being spread. She is cool girl and all but I know she would say something. I dont plan on coming out anytime soon or (I dont think so) but not gonnna risk telling a girl that Im not like best friends with. It would be different if I knew her for years but knowing her for a couple months doesnt do it.

    And I honestly dont think my friends know. Im really straight acting and Im surprised Im gay. I dont like admitting it either. It makes me feel less of a man. I know it shouldnt be like this but thats how I feel. I still talk to girls and try to get with them even though I dont want just to cover up the whole lie that Im living.

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  11. Hey man,
    Your such a player lol. I agree with what you say about being gay makes you feel like less of a man. Oh well just gotta live with it haha.
    talk soon

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  12. Also lol at your newest follower who appears to be a penis......

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  13. hahahaha i saw that too. kind of strange lol

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  14. you're not less of a man at all! i used to feel the same way before i came out. if anything, you're more of a man. i'm proud of who i am and i wouldn't change a thing. be proud and love who you are... all of you (including the gay bit) :-)

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  15. Well damn if girl 2 is trying this hard, you must be a good catch ;)

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