warning - typical writing with no edit and might be slightly hard to follow (haha)
since being home, the gay talk has increased. which is good because i would rather have it discussed then buried inside someone and have them feeling weird discussing it. i've actually somewhat talked about it with my dad for the first time since he was told which was 2 years ago! ( i cant believe its already been 2 years!!) and i talked about it with my lil bro tonight for the a long time.
it was funny, just earlier tonight, me and my lil bro were out shopping for presents for my parents and i brought it up seeing what he thought about me being gay. he is a sophomore in high school but is mentally slow a bit so his maturity level isn't what it should be. he actually surprised me by how much it didnt phase him. he said it didnt matter and was completely cool with how i am gay. the funny thing was that he thought i would still marry a girl even though im gay and he didnt think i would kiss a guy and he didnt think gay guys had sex. he didnt believe all those things and when i told him the truth, he thought it was weird and he laughed quite a bit. i thought all this was funny and he had a good laugh about it.
while being on brake, my out-count has increased as well. ive told 6 people (5 guys and 1 girl) and plan on telling more while being home. all of them have been chill about it and their reactions were all relatively similar. they thought i was kidding and it took sometime to convince them i was telling the truth. its pretty funny seeing their faces and hearing their reactions when i say it though. most of the guys always say it explains why i stay dressed so well too which i take as a compliment haha.
3 of the 5 guys that i told, i told them this past thursday night. they are my boys i grew up playing club soccer with and we didnt go to the same highschool or even grow up in the same city, but we just always have been pretty close from playing together so we always chill on holiday breaks. ive been meaning to tell these guys though for the longest but as always, its just awkward and hard to bring up. so i decided i would tell them when we went out this break. so i went over to my friends place and told him first then the other 2 showed up and told them as well. they took it well and were shocked but we headed to the bars afterwards. while at the bar, we literally sat and talked for 3-4 hours straight about it all and having some drinks (they were, i wasnt cause i had my wisdom teeth pulled this past week which fuckin sucked). they were asking some pretty funny questions. probably the best one was have i ever sucked a penis haha. but they also if ive had sex, if it hurts, do i or have i had a bf, just all the main questions. honestly i love when people actually ask questions when i tell them cause it helps to let me know that they are okay with it and not like scared of it or anything. and us 4 guys are always joking on each other so throughout the night, they were already making gay jokes which was good and they wanted me to kick with them and stay the night at his place but i couldnt that night so it was cool to see that it clearly didnt change anything that night.
i forgot to write about this earlier but during my stop at Alabama to see my 2 friends that go there, which are both girls, they took me to the gay bar there called Icon. it was a good time but it filled mostly with women and the place was pretty small. probably wouldnt recommend it as it was nothing impressive. but what i liked most about going there was that i didnt have to worry about anything since they all knew i was gay. the girl i stayed with a sorority girl and so we went out 2 nights with all her sorority girls and before i got there, my friend told them my secret so it was just a good feeling not having to worry about what i said or did or anything like that. and me and my friend had some good conversation about guys and just gay stuff in general which is always a talk i like to have.
but thats about it, just an update to show that the coming out process is still in effect and going well! i hope everyone is having a great time with their loved ones and have a blessed Christmas!
updated: just 45 minutes after i posted...
i was brushing my teeth and my lil brother starts asking more questions: "have i done dirty stuff with a guy?" i respond, "whats dirty stuff?" he says, "a bj" and starts cracking up. i started laughing and just brushed it off and he keeps asking if i have. i say maybe and laugh so he laughs even harder. he then asks if i have had sex with a guy. im smiling and laughing. he keeps asking, then goes, "have you ever done a guy?" lol i started dying, i couldnt believe he was asking me these questions. i just tell him and ill let him think of my response. he goes, "yes you have, and that is really weird, ewwwww" hahahaha i told him to make sure to keep this between us being that i havent talked about this with anyone else in my family...
just thought i had to share that funny story
2 weeks ago