since being home, all this gay talk.

warning -  typical writing with no edit and might be slightly hard to follow (haha)

since being home, the gay talk has increased. which is good because i would rather have it discussed then buried inside someone and have them feeling weird discussing it. i've actually somewhat talked about it with my dad for the first time since he was told which was 2 years ago! ( i cant believe its already been 2 years!!) and i talked about it with my lil bro tonight for the a long time.

it was funny, just earlier tonight, me and my lil bro were out shopping for presents for my parents and i brought it up seeing what he thought about me being gay. he is a sophomore in high school but is mentally slow a bit so his maturity level isn't what it should be. he actually surprised me by how much it didnt phase him. he said it didnt matter and was completely cool with how i am gay. the funny thing was that he thought i would still marry a girl even though im gay and he didnt think i would kiss a guy and he didnt think gay guys had sex. he didnt believe all those things and when i told him the truth, he thought it was weird and he laughed quite a bit. i thought all this was funny and he had a good laugh about it.

while being on brake, my out-count has increased as well. ive told 6 people (5 guys and 1 girl)  and plan on telling more while being home. all of them have been chill about it and their reactions were all relatively similar. they thought i was kidding and it took sometime to convince them i was telling the truth. its pretty funny seeing their faces and hearing their reactions when i say it though. most of the guys always say it explains why i stay dressed so well too which i take as a compliment haha.

3 of the 5 guys that i told, i told them this past thursday night. they are my boys i grew up playing club soccer with and we didnt go to the same highschool or even grow up in the same city, but we just always have been pretty close from playing together so we always chill on holiday breaks. ive been meaning to tell these guys though for the longest but as always, its just awkward and hard to bring up. so i decided i would tell them when we went out this break. so i went over to my friends place and told him first then the other 2 showed up and told them as well. they took it well and were shocked but we headed to the bars afterwards. while at the bar, we literally sat and talked for 3-4 hours straight about it all and having some drinks (they were, i wasnt cause i had my wisdom teeth pulled this past week which fuckin sucked). they were asking some pretty funny questions. probably the best one was have i ever sucked a penis haha. but they also if ive had sex, if it hurts, do i or have i had a bf, just all the main questions. honestly i love when people actually ask questions when i tell them cause it helps to let me know that they are okay with it and not like scared of it or anything. and us 4 guys are always joking on each other so throughout the night, they were already making gay jokes which was good and they wanted me to kick with them and stay the night at his place but i couldnt that night so it was cool to see that it clearly didnt change anything that night.

i forgot to write about this earlier but during my stop at Alabama to see my 2 friends that go there, which are both girls, they took me to the gay bar there called Icon. it was a good time but it filled mostly with women and the place was pretty small. probably wouldnt recommend it as it was nothing impressive. but what i liked most about going there was that i didnt have to worry about anything since they all knew i was gay. the girl i stayed with a sorority girl and so we went out 2 nights with all her sorority girls and before i got there, my friend told them my secret so it was just a good feeling not having to worry about what i said or did or anything like that. and me and my friend had some good conversation about guys and just gay stuff in general which is always a talk i like to have.

but thats about it, just an update to show that the coming out process is still in effect and going well! i hope everyone is having a great time with their loved ones and have a blessed Christmas!

updated: just 45 minutes after i posted...

i was brushing my teeth and my lil brother starts asking more questions: "have i done dirty stuff with a guy?" i respond, "whats dirty stuff?" he says, "a bj" and starts cracking up. i started laughing and just brushed it off and he keeps asking if i have. i say maybe and laugh so he laughs even harder. he then asks if i have had sex with a guy. im smiling and laughing. he keeps asking, then goes, "have you ever done a guy?" lol i started dying, i couldnt believe he was asking me these questions. i just tell him and ill let him think of my response. he goes, "yes you have, and that is really weird, ewwwww" hahahaha i told him to make sure to keep this between us being that i havent talked about this with anyone else in my family...

just thought i had to share that funny story

naked rowers...good thing to support

thought this was pretty cool of this university to be so open in order to help a good cause. no way any American university would be seen doing something like this and i think that it reflects the US attitude of sexuality in general...

fear.

a cool video i found while youtube hopping. Big Sean is an artist I like to listen to and this just made me like him even more...if you're not a rap fan or never heard of him, check out the video still, its pretty deep...

i hate writing

i've been sitting (with the exceptions of bathroom breaks, getting food, and napping) in the same place since 11am trying to write a paper in which i still have nothing down yet. its a 10 page paper for my Employee Benefits class over the retirement system in the US and then comparing it to two other countries retirement systems. needless to say, this fucking blows and i cant even think of anything to write. its due Friday and i've had it now for 3 weeks but i've really only just now got time to start on it.

this class is one that isn't my favorite. one thing that really upsets me about this class is that some of the information that im learning and someday will be helping people with, doesn't even apply to me or my future. things such as spousal IRAs and other joint retirement plans with a spouse dont apply to gay people. in the class, a joke was even made about this situation and it got a pretty good laugh from the students. of course i just sat there pissed off on the inside. i was gonna blog about it when it happened but things have just been too busy.

in other news:
-its fucking awesome about the progression for gay-marriage. it gives me a sense of hope in the future for our country leaning to acceptance. it would be way sick if one day, all of the 50 state allowed gay-marriage.

-i'm no longer a college soccer player. my season ended in the first round of our conference tournament in an unfortunate series of events. we lost in penalty kicks 4-3. i took mine and made it but our keeper had to save their next shooter in order to give us one more shot but it didnt happen. ultimately, it was a disappointing season for me. an on-going hamstring plagued my senior year which sucked. i only ended up with 2 goals and 4 assists which isn't up to par for my standards.

-i have less than a month til christmas break and i get to go home and spend time with my fam. i cant fuckin wait for that. i miss them and just being home... my mom came up for our game and spent a couple days up here. we went to Flemings steakhouse (it was banginggg) for her early birthday dinner and we discussed gay issues and how she felt about everything. it was awesome and i absolutely love her. i'm not even ashamed to say im a 'momma's boy' haha

thats about it, hope everyone is doing good! i guess i should try to get back to the paper... (if anyone knows any good info about retirement systems in the US, Australia, or Denmark or Netherlands, leave a comment with some thoughts) hahaha

mad powerful.

i always check huffingtonpost to see what the latest gay news is and love reading articles like these... thought i would share:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/antony-merkel/an-open-letter-to-my-republican-voting-family_b_2096631.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices

its been 2 years!

yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of telling the first person (my roommate). its crazy to think its been so long and how much less stressful things have gotten. now im out to 10 teammates, my family of 5, 3 girls here on campus, and 9 friends from back home. i guess its not too many but its a lot more than what i had 2 years ago! haha

Hope everyone had a  good 'Coming Out' day! i told 2 teammates the day before and it went over good. honestly, i find the reactions to be the same and very positive. i feel like it brings me and the person much more closer than before which i like. so i guess what im trying to say is that if you are reading this and you havent told anyone, dont be afraid to. i know its a lot easier said than done but its worth the chance! the only bad reaction i had was from my sister in which she was fine with it but didnt want me to get shit for it at the same time. now, she is super chill with it. i find it fun to come out to people. their reactions of not believing me always cracks me. it takes some persuading for the person to believe it but its in good fun haha

also, thanks for the comments on the last question. that is pretty hot to think of Matt Bomer as a bottom lol its always so hard to tell positions for guys but i think its a lot hotter if the guy is versatile and switches with the partner. love is mutual and sex should be too!