Thursday, October 27, 2011

it's not all about sex

Disclaimer: This is kind of a long post. There are many grammatical errors. This might be my first and last time going into detail about a hookup. It does get kind of cheesy in some parts. And this isn't too much about the hookup but more about the great time I had... haha

It's been a while since my last hookup. It was over the summer when I spent time with another guy having some fun. But there wasn't much too it. No connection, no communication, just hook up and go. There was very little conversation and not much engagement. I guess I can't expect to much from a craigslist post but I still wanted something more. I like getting to know a guy and seeing how he thinks, how he feels. I feel like it makes the 'fun' that much better...

Well, I got to experience that connection for the first time. I've never had a hookup like the one I did this past Sunday night. It wasn't just about getting off and leaving. It was about connecting with the guy. We talked for hours, watched movies, sat in silence, just basically chilled. It was perfect.

It all started when I got to his school around 1pm. I met him outside his dorm and he got in my car and we started talking like we've been knowing each other for years. We texted prior to meeting up in order to have some plans in mind so when I got him, we went straight to lunch. He showed me to a local brunch type place which was real good. We finished lunch then went to watch Romeo and Juliet the play at his school. He had to attend it for a class and he also had friends performing in it. It was a sick production and I had a great time. Even though we didnt talk much for the 2 hours in the theater, it was awesome just to be hangin with a similar guy. I've never been in that situation and it felt good for some reason.

After the play, I actually left to go visit my grandparents who lived close by his school. He had homework to finish up so it worked out perfectly. When I was done visiting my grandparents, I headed back to his school. I texted him saying I was there and he just said to head to his dorm. (He showed me earlier before the play.) So I went up to his room where he was there playing video games with his friends. I met all them and made some small talk about my school. But they left quickly and so did we.

We checked into a local hotel for the night. He has a roomy so it probably would of been weird to just chill with him being there so we thought a hotel was the best bet (which it was haha.) But we got to the room around 945ish. Put our stuff down and just sat on the beds. (We got 2 queens cause the guys at the front desk asked us and said it would of been weird if we got 1 king lol) So we sat there on our separate beds just watching Transformers. We talked about random things; family, friends, gay/bi issues, cars, music, fashion, our futures, traveling, and plenty more. It was awesome getting to know him more than what I already did. Even though we disagreed on some things (muscle car vs new BMW), I had a great time talking. The more I found out about him, the more I liked him.

We talked for about 4 hours. It wasn't until 2 am we got into the same bed. I'm not sure why it took so long cause I wanted to jump in his bed right when we got there lol But I guess the wait made it that much better... When we were laying there, we talked some more. Exchanged come compliments and compared who had better hair (I won haha) and then things started moving along. We kissed, pulled away and stared at each other,  and kissed again. It was awesome.

Things got a lil more heated after the long makeout sesh. Both of us started taking each others clothes off one by one. We continued to kiss and grab each other. (The roughness and masculinity of a guy is mad sexy haha i love it) Then I was first go down on him and we switched a couple times taking turns. He got on top of me and I got on top of him. We didnt have sex but it wasn't needed. After about 30 minutes of kissing, jerking, and sucking on the bed, we moved to the shower and proceeded to do the same in there.

When we got out of the shower, we got back on the bed but this time, it wasn't as rough. We took our time and cuddled a bit. We laid there talking about random things with the occasional kiss here and there. That was the part I loved the most. Just being in the arms of another guy and holding another guy was perfect. I sound so soft saying that but I really enjoyed that haha

We did eventually get off, me being first (took awhile which was kind of awkward/embarrassing haha) but he was cool with it and then he got off. It was about 2 hours from when we started and every second was perfect. Things weren't rushed. Things weren't awkward (besides the last part). And things were just like how it should of been. Everything felt natural and for the first time I was myself the whole time.

After getting off, we laid in bed for a bit just cuddling some more and talking about how much fun we had and how we should of started right when we got into the room. I also had to leave to head back to school since I had lifting at 8am. That part sucked the most cause I wanted to just be in his arms and relax with him but I couldn't. So I dropped him off back at his school and got a goodbye hug and kiss. Since then we've talked some more and have planned on meeting again which I hope happens soon.

This whole experience was awesome and it felt great just to be with someone who didn't want to get his dick sucked and leave. The connection defiantly made the night that much better. Being attracted to someone physically isn't enough for me. I have to be emotionally attracted as well and to this guy, I was.

...Oh, and forgot to mention it was with a fellow blogger as well :)

Sunday, October 16, 2011

coming out 101

This is my 101st post and its also the one year anniversary since coming out to my first person. I cant even believe how far I've come within the year since telling my roommate. Its crazy to even think about the times before anyone knowing. Now, I'm out to 13 people total and I'm pretty content with that. It feels good to know things haven't changed one bit since tellin my first person. I've debated whether or not to tell some more teammates. I kind of just want to gain all the respect possible before telling any more. That means by being a leader on the team in my mind. I scored another goal so thats two for the season but still no where near how many I should have by now. Especially compared to my numbers from freshman and sophomore year. We still got some games left though to change all that so we'll see what happens.

And for some advice I thought I was share for anyone struggling to come out or even thinking about coming out. Do it when you feel right and dont rush it. You have time and there is no time limit to when you need to tell someone. Also, from my experiences, things dont change no matter how bad you think someone will take it. Yeah it might take time for someone to adjust too it, but in the end, people will come around and still be with you...

Well thats about it, just goin out with some guys to celebrate our birthdays and get a drink (legally) haha take it easy everyone!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Question #5

The times I've been with a guy, I was the one who got off second. And one time, a dude busted twice before I did once. Not sure what was. I wasnt really attracted to him and I had some alone time the night before so that probs had something to do with it.

But is it good to last long? Or is it better just be over and done with it? haha

responses to the past posts

Instead of individually commenting on all the responses, I'm just gonna do a post cause there were a shit ton of things said haha I really appreciate all the support and feedback I get. It means a lot and its awesome to see that stuff when I got on here.

As for question #4, haha ya it probs was TMI but just something I wasn't too sure about but yall defiantly cleared it up and thanks for that. Im not planning on rushing into any of that but Im defiantly gonna be carfeful when/if it does happen.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It was a good birthday overall I guess with my mom comin up to see me.

And for the last post... I didnt say anything just. You could say I pussied out but I just dont want things to get complicated right now. Not saying they will, but they defiantly could. I have been debating on whether to tell a couple more guys but just not sure who yet. Im pretty content with the 4 guys knowing right now. We joke about it and they give me shit for it (in a good way) so Im happy with it.

To answer some of the questions that were posted in the comments... Season is goin okay. Could be better (but thats typically how it always is). Personally, not doin what I expect myself to do. Kind of in a sticky situation right now as well and it sucks to be in it. I think we are like halfway through our season so hopefully it can turn around... I took the music off cause not sure if people actually listen to it, and just kind of get lazy to change the playlist lol might add it later on

I think thats about it, you can comment with any questions and Ill probs respond there or on another post

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

this shit sucks to see

This was written on "Freds" iPad from a teammate... (Fred, Peter, and the kid who wrote are all on my team).  So its just a joke but its still some shit that kind of pisses me off. None of these guys know about me and im not sure if I want them too. Im pretty close with the kid who wrote it and the other two guys are just friends/teammates I guess. Not guys that I would hang out with one on one. But here it, just copied and pasted it from facebook...
my name is Fred. Unfortunately I am coming to the realization that I am a fucking faggot. I really and truly like dick. All of my friends joke around about me being gay but the joke is on them because, in fact, I am 100 percent homosexual. Sometimes when I'm alone I like to take off all of my clothes and go on my roommate Peter's facebook page. I think he is just perfect and I can see myself being with him for the rest of my life. How do I tell him this? How do I tell him that what he thinks is a joke is actually my life? How do i tell him that he's always on my mind and that I would do anything to be with him? One day he will know the truth. But for now, I will just go with the flow and keep pretending I fuck girls in order for all the guys to think I am straight, when really I am jacking off thinking of them. One day Peter will be mine and I will be all his. One day he will know that it has not been a joke all this time. One day the world will know that I, Fred, am in love with penis.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

being 21

Within the past couple of weeks, I've turned 21. And for my huge 21st celebration, I sat in my room and watched tv by myself. It might of been my worst birthday so far. We had a game the next day so couldnt go out and celebrate like a typical 21 year old would. And my roomy was with some chick so just chilled by my lonesome haha

My mom did fly up and see me though that weekend and watched two of my games (when i was playing, but thats for another post) and it was awesome spending time with her. She took me shopping and got me some things that I needed. Took me out for two birthday dinners haha First one was Outback which is my favorite restaurant then the next night she wanted to take me out to a nice place. So we went to Raleigh to Ruth's Chris. Im not much of a steak guy and I never order it when I go out but dammmnn, that shit was sooo banging. That place was mad expensive though and I felt like we could of went somewhere else but my mom said you only turn 21 once haha I also ordered my first drink there but we split it cause I had a game again the next day. She ended up drinkin most of it though

It was a solid weekend though when she came up, Im always happy to see my family, especially my mom. She's awesome :)

As for being 21, dont feel much different. Havent even got to a bar or anything just cause season right now and my roomy is only 20 so feel bad for leaving him behind. Just gonna have to wait for that...

Question #4

Since I've never had sex with a dude, is there any per-cautioninery things you have to do before yall start going at it? Some peoples asses might not be to clean to start fuckin on the spot and some might have to use the restroom before they start but dont have time. So is there anything for a guy to do to prepare to be smashed? haha

I just think it could be nasty if the top pulls out with some stuff on his tip haha